Welcome to Definitely Not a Platformer, the game that’s about as straightforward as a hedgehog on roller skates! Get ready to navigate 20 handcrafted levels where the only thing more deceptive than your ex’s text messages are the platforms you’re trying to land on. You’ll be dodging invisible paths, fake platforms that are more like “fake news,” collapsing floors that drop you like a bad habit, and color shifts that’ll have you questioning your life choices.
Oh, and don’t forget the surprise hazards that pop up like your Aunt Karen at a family reunion, and a narrator who may or may not be your biggest fan (or your worst enemy). As you stumble through, learn the rules of each level like it's an awkward dance at a wedding, spot clues that are sneakier than a cat at 3 AM, and try to reach the exit while improving your completion times and racking up a death count that would make a horror movie proud. Get ready to embrace the chaos—because in this game, trust no platform!
Move with the Left and Right Arrow keys or A/D. Q/D is also supported for AZERTY keyboards. Jump with Up Arrow, W, Z, Space, or a mouse click. On mobile, use the on-screen Left, Right, and Jump buttons; you can also tap the game area to jump. Press R to restart, M to mute, and Escape or P to return to the menu. Reach the portal at the end of each stage, but do not trust every platform or sign.
